Anime Reports
by Roxius
Summary: This is the sequel to Villain Reports! These are reports on the complaints from various anime or manga like Naruto, One Piece, Death Note, ect. FINALLY AND UTTERLY COMPLETE AFTER TWO YEARS OF NO UPDATES!
1. Naruto Reports

NARUTO REPORTS 

Report 1

"The name is Naruto Uzumaki! I have so many complaints that I could shit all day! First of all, why is Sasuke such a sexy man? I mean, he's not bad looking, but I'm jealous of all the attention he gets! Also, why do we get a gay guy on our team ever 100 chapters! I HATE YOU ALL AND TEMARI'S ASS!"

"Wow…you ARE weird…"

Report 2

"This is Sasuke Uchiha. I do like being as sexy as I am, but I have many complaints! First of all, why are all the ugly girls like Sakura and Ino after me! Second, I don't want to become some gay shit-bag while I live with Orochimaru! I also want to have man boobs. Thank you!"

"……"

Report 3

"Sakura Haruno here! I know I'm not the sexiest-looking female in Naruto, but come on! I'm still smarter and more caring than Ino! I mean, all Ino has is a great figure, luscious curves, an adorable face, a…a…Oh, just forget it! I HAVE NO BOOBS OR THE VIRGINITY TO TELL SASUKE I WANT TO STAB HIM FOR ETERNITY FOR KILLING MY NEW LOVE, NARUTO!"

"You…don't have boobs?"

Report 4

"Kakashi-sensei reporting for duty! I am a bit displeased that I am actually a dirty pervert who likes reading Hentai manga! Still, Iruka does turn me on…"

"Hmm…"

Report 5

"Michael Jackson is my idol! Rapping those kids by making them drunk is pure genius! LONG LIVE MICHAEL JACKSON!"

"I always knew Orochimaru was a lesbo."

Report 6

"I, HINATA HYUGA, HAVE FINALLY SNAPPED! I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I HAVE SLAUGHTERED EVERY NINJA IN THE WORLD AND FEAST ON THEIR FRESH ORGANS AS THEY SCREAM IN PAIN! I WILL BECOME THE RULER OF EARTH!"

"Wanna go out for bagels?"

"Sure."

Report 7

"Itachi, who is me, is so damn irresistible! I mean, got to and put me up with pretty much any character and there'll be at least one fic about it! IT DRIVES ME MAD! Besides, I heard that beards make people look sexy, but I don't have one! Very confusing…"

"Itachi, you should choose your women wisely…"

Report 8

"I am Garra of the Sand. First things first! I am like some creepy emo kid, even during my time as Kaze Kage! I don't like to drink, smoke, use needles, and try to kill myself whenever I have the chance! I am a happy person who has had a rough childhood, okay?"

"We understand…"

Report 9

"Sai, the creepy gay kid that no one understands, is present. I…well, actually, for some strange reason I have nothing to say, so you can go to the last person! ….I AM A BISEXUAL BUT I GOT NO LOVIN'!"

"……"

Report 10 (Final Report)

"THE REST OF THE NARUTO GANG WOULD LIKE TO SAY: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!"

"That's hot!"

Next up: One Piece Reports!


	2. One Piece Reports

ONE PIECE REPORTS

Report 1

"Where am I? Who are you faceless people? Am I in hell? ….Oh, well. My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I'm here to complain! I need to be smarter than a –BEEP- fruit cake and stop screaming like a retard whenever I see something that's life threatening! ALSO…MY AMERICAN VOICE ACTOR MUST DIE!"

"Don't worry, Luffy, we set up the 'Luffy's American Voice Actor must Die!' club!"

Report 2

"Zolo! Zolo! Zoro! Zoro! See, my name sounds more realistic if it's Zoro, instead of Zolo! I also need a sexy beard and a female android to molest! JUST GIVE ME THE MEAT AND I'LL BE FINE!"

"I TOLD YOU, FUNAMATION IS LYING! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO #18!"

Report 3

"My name is Nami. I would like it if Sanji would stop staring at my boobs, if my boobs didn't grow by 6 inches ever 50 chapters, and that I could be stronger and more useful!"

"But you already won against Kalifa and we can't help it if you have giant boobs, Nami!"

Report 4

"I am Ussop, Shitty warrior of the sea! I have fourteen eyelids and twelve toes and each of my fingers! I can fire cannon balls from my butt and my face sometimes looks like Elvis Presley! I am in love with my self and all my pals!"

"OH..MY…GOSH!"

Report 5

"I need to see more hentai in the comics! I need more sexy women and giant boobs like Nami's or Robin's. I have so many perverted needs that I cut out my other eye! MELLORINE!"

"Stupid perverted Sanji!"

Report 6

""RAARRG! Chopper is in the house! I have so many shits up my arse, it isn't funny! My powers are stupid and lame! I HAVE FURY! I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO RUN UP WALLS OR SOMETHIN' TO BE COOL! KIDS THESE DAYS ARE SO-"

"I HATE REINDEERS, DAMMIT!"

Report 7

"………………………………………………….My name is Nico Robin."

"THAT'S IT?"

Report 8

"I am Franky, coolest damn dude you'll ever meet! I look like Ace Ventura and Pop Eye's frickin' love child! I AM COOL, BUT A BEARD WILL MAKE ME LOOK SEXY! DEATH TO THE PEANUTS!"

Snicker Snicker

Report 9

"If I become the next shipmate of the Straw Hat Pirates, let me the first to say this: IF THAT F----IN' COOK PUTS ANY F----IN' CARROTS IN MY F----IN' JUICE, I'LL F----IN' KILL SOMEONE!"

"Poppa Rocks, get the F---- off!"

Report 10 (Final Report)

"Uh…KOBI-CHAN IS SO CUTE! I HATE CROCODILE-KUN! SAVE THE MANATEES!"

"Another fan girl, huh?"

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Next up: Bobobo-Bo-Bobobo Reports!


	3. BoboboBoboBobo Reports

BOBOBO-BO-BOBOBO REPORTS:

Report 1

"This is Beauty speaking. I know that the main character should speak first, but I just have to say something. GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! RUN NOW BEFORE THEY GET YOU! YOU WILL BE TORTURED AND YOUR MIND WILL BE DESTROYED! SAVE ME FROM THIS-" (Thump!)

"A Kunai was stabbed into the back of her head…"

Report 2

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"Dengaku Man, did you forget your pills this morning?"

Report 3

"Gasser, A.K.A. Heppokamaru, here! I need to know why a boy with gas can look attractive or be male! I think that Beauty should be the sexy farting girl! I like it when girls fart. It's…enticing…"

"HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT!"

Report 4

"I AM GAYER THAN BOBOBO! I LIKE READING MAGAZINES ABOUT SENIOR PROMS AND LOVELY LITTLE DONKEYS! I…NEED…SOME LOVIN'! SEXY! SEXY! I AM SEXY! GO, POPPA ROCKS, GO! KICK OUT THE JAM!"

"…………….."

Report 5

"I am jiggly, and wiggly, and damn sexy! I got no hair, but I got a little bit of insanity in my head! NA NA NA-LA LA-RA RA RA!"

"What does Jelly Jiggler mean?"

Report 6

"BoBoBo-BoBo-Bobo is ready to speak! First, I need more lipstick and sexy lingerie to be as cool as I am! I also wouldn't mind at least one romance fic where I'm with Beauty or Suzu! Second, GET THE HELL OF ME, POPPA ROCKS!"

"Sanji has some competition in the 'romance fic' department…"

Report 7

"Softon. I look like ice cream. I want someone to love, someone to hold, someone to hug, someone to cry with, someone to sleep with, someone to laugh with, someone to eat with, someone to die with! I NEED SONIC THE HEDGEHOG FOR THE PS3! DID YOU KNOW THAT A NEW HEDGEHOG NAMED SILVER THE HEDGEHOG COMES FROM THE FUTURE AND MAY BE A PLAYABLE CHARACTER IN THE GAME?" (True fact about Sonic the Hedgehog for PS3 and X-Box 360)

"Wow…that was…informative…"

Report 8

"I am Hatenkou, son of Jerry Coleman and Marry Banks. I will not allow anyone to get in my way of creating the ultimate retarded love child! I WILL BE FAMOUS!"

"You are so evil that we should kill you right now!"

Report 9 (Final Report)

"Thisain'tfair! Bobobobobobobogetsonlyninereportsandeveryoneelsegetsten! That'sfuckingannoying!HELLTOTHEMALL!"

"Suzu is on sugar again…"

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Next up: Death Note Reports!


	4. Death Note Reports

DEATH NOTE REPORTS REPORT 1 

"I am Kira! I rule the Fin' world, damn it! I will stick needles in your eyes and feed you all to my evil poodles! I AM ALSO A GEMINI AND A B-BLOOD TYPE! I'VE READ EVERY FIC ABOUT THE COUPLE LIGHTXL AND THE TRUTH IS THAT I DO HATE THAT LITTLE BUGGER!"

"Ooookay…."

Report 2

"Misa-chan is here! I am currently letting Sayu-chan make love with me, so I can't come to the phone right now! Oh! Sayu, let go of my boobs!'

"……………..boobs?"

Report 3

"L…L….L…wait, that's me! Anyway, I have the power to eat all the sweets I want and not have a bubble butt! I like reading…WHAT A MOMENT! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I DON'T EVEN APPEAR ONCE IN THE LAST CHAPTER OF DEATH NOTE! I…AM…FURIOUS!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! BLOOD LUST!"

Report 4

"Near and Mello, at your service! Sure, we don't get along much, but we actually love each other very much! I always get excited when I wait for Mello to come into my room, take off his clothes, crawl on my bed and-"

"GAAAHH! TOO…MUCH…INFORMATION!"

Report 5

"Ryuk wants apples. Apples are devoured by Ryuk. Apples run from Ryuk. Apples summon Ifrit from the depths of hell and burn my butt with their stupid crackpot jokes! I STILL WANT MY APPLES!"

"That can be a great short story!"

Report 6 (Final Report)

"This is Rem-san. I am Rem-san. Rem-san is me. I can't believe that Misa, who is such a whiny bitch, didn't even care or know that I died! NO ONE CARES! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"It's okay…."

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PLEASE REVIEW! FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER, IT'LL EITHER BE HUNTERXHUNTER, D. GREY MAN, OR EYESHIELD 21! TELL ME IN REVIEWS ABOUT WHICH MANGA SHOULD I DO NEXT! ALSO, IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO DO REPORTS ON A CERTAIN MANGA/ANIME, TELL ME THE NAME AND INFO ABOUT THE MANGA/ANIME IN REVIEWS!


	5. Eyeshield 21 Reports

EYESHIELD 21 REPORTS REPORT 1 

"I am Sena. Um…well, I don't really have any complaints. I…WHO'S PLAYING THAT MUSIC! I MUST DO THE NUMA NUMA DANCE! ….'ALLO!"

"Wow…"

Report 2

"I am Monta! I am a monkey! I CAN'T TALK RIGHT! FOR EXAMPLE, WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO ERASE MY HONOR? DAMN IT, SHONEN JUMP! FEEL MY BANNANA WRATH! KKKKYYAAA!"

"AAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEE!"

Report 3

"I am Yoichi Hiruma. I may always have something cruel and insensitive to say, but I really do I have a soft side. I like puppies and I help out at the homeless shelters. I also have a special place in my heart for my little Sena-chan…"

"Uh-huh! Uh-huh!"

Report 4

"Uh…this is Kurita. I don't really mind being kicked around by Hiruma or anything. I just…I just…YAAAA-HAAAA! ….Sorry about that. I hang around Hiruma too much…YA-HAA!"

"YA-HAA!"

Report 5

"I am Seijuro Shin. I am crazy, quiet, handsome, and somewhat curious. What are we supposed to do here, anyway? Do we shoot the breeze with the mailman or somethin'? GIVE ME A COOKIE, OOTAWARA!"

"Shin want a cookie?"

Report 6

"Um…I am Manabu Yukimitsu. I wouldn't mind being more persistent, powerful, and overall more evil than Hiruma! Thank you."

"……"

Report 7

"Hah?" "Hah!" "HAH!"

"Give a round of applause to the Hah Brothers!"

Report 8

"HUMF! GRAH! FUBBA!"

"Komusubi says to eat your vegetables, kids!"

Report 9

"I must be the only bishounen in this entire frickin' manga! I am sexy and suave, but I need to be more confident in myself! I HATE THE ROLE I PLAY IN EYESHIELD 21! SO BIT ME IF YOU DARE!"

"Sakuraba's high….again…"

Report 10 (Final Report)

"Mamori Anezaki, who I am, is very smart. She's beautiful and talented. She knows all the lines, but! She…can't…tell….that Sena is Eyeshield 21! What kind of arse am I to not notice all of the similarities! WAAAHH!"

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NEXT UP: BLEACH! PLEASE REVIEW AND REMEMBER: IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO DO REPORTS ON A CERTAIN MANGA, SEND ME INFO ON IT AND I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO!


	6. Bleach Reports

BLEACH REPORTS Report 1 

"I am Ichigo! I may be the main character, but I get my ass kicked a lot! Especially by that hot Rukia chick! I also am kind of stupid, and I don't like it! GIVE ME MY PROPS AND SHOW ME THE MONEY! RAAAAGGGHHH!"

"WWWAAAAGGGGHHHHAAA!"

Report 2

"Rukia…Rukia…Rukia…how do you say my name? I think it sounds weird. I also could use a larger bust and some cool catch phrases like 'Jinkies' or 'Yoinks'!"

"Uh…those two have been taken…"

Report 3

"Bycc sa dra lunh pnayt! ha ha ha! that MEANS 'STICK IT UP YOUR ASS'! NOW…LET ME GO WIGGY! CHAD-MASTER HAS SPOKEN!"

"Uh…that actually means 'pass the corn bread'…"

Report 4

"Um…my name is Orihime Inque. I am timid and clueless, but I have bigger boobs than Brittney Spears! WASSUP WITH DAT? I need to shove this bad boys into someone's face, preferably Ichigo!"

Shudder Shudder

Report 5

"My name is Ganju. I got the power of the Sheng-Gong-Wu! I got my little minions made of corn bread ready to slash your eyes out! I like to play Eyeshield 21 video games, but Mr. Kibo won't let me! WWWWHHHYYYY?"

"Stupid Ganju…"

Report 6

"Uryu Ishida is here speaking. Hmm….what do I have complaints about? Uh….oh…grr…GGGGRRRAAAAAHHHHH!"

"WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?"

Report 7

"Hitsugaya is here. I need to suck on Hinamori's sexy little-"

"TIME'S UP! GET OUT!"

Report 8

"I am Kon. I am one of the biggest perverts in Bleach, but I still like reading hentai manga! Wait…that doesn't make me look like I'm not a pervert, huh?"

"No…"

Report 9

"My name is Aizen-sama. I can use my good looks to rape girls, like Hinamori, and trick everyone into thinking I'm a good guy! I love playing bingo with Gin, who is very sexy! NOW…BRING ME MY MUFFINS!"

"I TOLD YOU! THEY'RE MY MUFFINS!"

Report 10 (Final Report)

"HOLLOW…SOUL REAPER…PIE…AND BEER! GIVE ME MY TEDDY BEAR FOR I AM….Wait, am I an important character?"

"Yes you are, Mr. Gin…."

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NEXT CHAPTER: YU-GI-OH REPORTS! PLEASE REVIEW AND GIVE ME SOME ANIME/MANGA SUGGESTIONS IF YOU CAN!


	7. YuGiOh Reports

**YU-GI-OH REPORTS**

Report 1

"I am Yugi Muto. I have awesome hair but I am one shitty little dude! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE LEARNING TO STICK UP FOR MYSELF, BUT INSTEAD I'VE GOT THIS OLDER-LOOKING ALTER EGO FIGHTING FOR ME! I HATE IT ALL!"

"He has a point there…"

Report 2

"This is Joey 'F---ing' Wheeler. I think that….WAIT! WHY IS MY NICKNAME 'F---ING'? I AM ANGRY! ALSO…I WOULDN'T MIND AT LEAST ONE SEXT SCENE WITH SEXY SETO KAIBA…OR MAI. BUT REALLY, WHO CARES ABOUT HER? ……NUMA NUMA?"

"'Allo?"

Report 3

"Uh…just to shorten this so we can get to better things, we'll have Anzu, Shizuka, and Mai all go at once. ……………….Hello?"

"Hi."

"………….morons." (AN: If you don't find this one funny, keep your negative comments to yourself! Please no flames!)

Report 4

"This is Seto Kaiba speaking, so that means all morons and emotionally-challenged people must shut their mouths! My first complaint: I like being considered sexier than Yami Yugi by a lot of people (or so he thinks), but I would like to be the savior of the world at least once! I mean, why the helly shit does asshole Yami Yugi win all the time! I hate you all! I think that you all-"

BANG

"He's dead…"

Report 5

"If any of you frickin' dirt bags call me a gay arse again, I'll kill you all!"

"Marik, calm down!"

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Next up: Either Pokemon, Shaman King, or FLCL. But, if you have any suggestions, please tell me!


	8. Pokemon Reports

**POKEMON REPORTS**

Report 1

"I am Ash Ketchum, of frickin' Pallet Town! I stick shit up May and Misty's asses, but they like it! I also have a question! _Why did the chicken cross the road?"_

"_To understand why seventeen fairies consoled all their kitchen troubles in a yellow rock covered in a stylish freedom fighters dead skin with the phrase 'limbo chocolates for all' engraved in it."_

"Damn…you got it right!"

Report 2

"I am Brock! I am more perverted than that little pisser Sanji! I'll shoot anyone in the head if they believe I'm some little wussy that goes for the boys, because I don't! Ever see any freakin' fics of me and Ash together? I THINK NOT!"

""Uh…here's one."

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Report 3

"Pika! Pika…chu! Chu, Chu! Pikachu! PIKACHUUU! Pika! Chhuuuup!"

"It just said 'Chhuuuup'!"

Report 4

"Do I have big breasts? I'm trying to look sexy for…someone…but I don't know if big boobs turn him on! Maybe I could get Brock to work on these bad boys for me…I don't know…"

"May, baby, Brock will rape you if you show him your boobies!"

"………boobies?"

Report 5

"My name is Chris, right? Good. Now, I do NOT like having to take over Misty's job of watching over Brock and his perverted needs! THE GUY'S AT LEAST 21 BY NOW! HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIS FLIPPIN' SELF, DAMN IT! I have perverted needs, too, but no one goes into depth about that…"

"So sad…"

Report 6

" TEAM ROCKET, FIGHT! TEAM ROCKET, RUN! TEAM ROCKET, JUMP! TEAM ROCKET…UH…DO THE MOON WALK! PSSHA!"

"Wow…that was stupid…"

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PLEASE REVIEW! NEXT CHAPTER: FLCL REPORTS!


	9. FLCL Reports

**FLCL (FOOLY COOLY) REPORTS**

Report 1

"I am Nandaba Naota. I sometimes believe I have more problems than Yami Yugi, Seto Kaiba, and Joey 'F---in' Wheeler combined! I have to deal with hot girls, a psycho chick from space, robots, a N.O. portal in my head, and a whole bunch of crap! I HATE IT!"

"…….."

Report 2

"I am Samejima Mamimi. I look kind of cute for someone who smokes and is a pyromaniac. Wait…fire…fire…fire…MUST SET SOMETHING ON FIRE!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Report 3

"Haruko here. I will keep my last name to myself, thank you. (AN: Her last name is Haruhara, for anyone who didn't know.) First of all, I would like to thank everyone in the committee who helped make FLCL possible. I would also like to give a hand to Naota. He stayed by me for all six episodes. Thank you."

"Wow. Without her pills, she's…normal…"

"BBBBBBAAAAAAAGGGGGEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLSSSSSS!"

"I THINK I'VE SPOKEN TOO SOON!"

Report 4

"I am the cute but stylish Eri Ninamori! I have no problems except…EATING CANDY MAKES MY THIGHS BIG!TYPE IN 'Misty Stuffer', go to Anime go to series, and choose FLCL.YOU CANSEE THE PICTURE OF ME WITH FAT THIGHS!"

"heh heh...fat thighs..."

"I AM COMMANDER AMARAO! FEAR MY FUCKIN' FAKE EYEBROWS AND TREMBLE! TREMBLE!"

"Dude, I'm trembling!"

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GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! PLEASE REVIEW!


	10. Shaman King Reports

SHAMAN KING REPORTS Report 1 

"This is Yoh Asakura. I am very pissed that not only am I a gay little goody-two shoes, but I gave up my chance to rule the planet so I could save that dumbass Ren, who likes to elope with Horohoro and Chocolove! I COULD HAVE MADE THE WORLD FULL OF CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!"

"I love vanilla, too!"

Report 2

"I am Anna. First of all, I am actually one of the sweetest girls in SK. Second, I like to molest that dumb pink-haired girl if she buys the 'Toryo' Tuna instead of the 'Tokyo' Tuna. PLEASE MAKE LOVE WITH YOURE ENEMIES!"

"And how!"

Report 3

"I am Tao Ren, snottiest yet hottest guy in Shaman King. I like milk too much to let Pirika use any of it on her milk. I ALSO HAVE HAD A HORRIBLE CHILDHOOD AND I WILL PROBABLY HAVE A HORRIBLE FUTURE!"

"Milk?"

Report 4

"This is Horohoro, who was given the shit name of Trey. I mean, Manta says I come here with his lunch, but the little punk's neck was already snapped in fuckin' half! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLCCCCCCCCCCCLLLLLLLLLL!"

"FLCL!"

Report 5

"Mellorine! Mellorine! Mellorine! Mellorine! Mellorine! Mellorine! Mello-wait, am I supposed to say something important?"

"A big round of applause for Ryu, everybody!"

Report 6

"I am Dr. Faust the 8th. I'm crazy and touched in the head! Pass me the ketchup, I think I'll go to bed! ………No, seriously. WHERE'S THE FUCKIN' KETCHUP?"

"Dunno…" (Grabs a bottle of ketchup and breaks it against the wall.)

Report 7

"I am Hao and I am proud to be gay!"

"Woo-hoo! Gay power!"

Report 8

"Uh…my name is Monta and I have something to say! I WANT TO BE A SHAMAN! I'M PRETTY IMPORTANT, BUT I DON'T GET A SINGLE FREAKIN' SPIRIT PERSON TO DO OVERSOUL WITH! IT DRIVES ME MMMMMMMMMMAAAAADDDDDDD!"

………….

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GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! PLEASE REVIEW!


	11. Yu Yu Hakusho Reports

**YU YU HAKUSHO REPORTS**

Report 1

"I am Yusuke Urameshi! TASTE MY ASS! I can kick down all demons where it hurts and then some! Give me Kurama or Hiei anyday, foo, because I'm a homo! YAAAHH! Do the robot, dawg! starts playing the Numa Numa song OH YEAH!"

"Daahhh!"

Report 2

"This Kuwabara speaking! I am probably used as comic relief, but I doubt that! I have this sexy cool pompadour, but the only girl I fell in love with is…uh, wait! ISN'T SHE HIEI'S SISTER? HEH…THAT'LL PUT A FROWN ON MY NEW BROTHER-IN-LAW'S FACE!"

"WOAH!"

Report 3

"I got long hair and I'm really the sexiest character in Yu Yu Hakusho! Sure, I've been paired with Hiei a lot and I look a freakin' bishounen, but I don't care! I think everyone's been saying that have positive attributes despite the fact they're gay…did I say that out loud?"

"……..yes."

Report 4

"…………………………….I'm Hiei. That's it."

WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Report 5

"I am Genkai. I don't have a lot to say except………………………………"

"?"

"……..READ MORE YU YU HAKUSHO MANGA!"

"Ah!"

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Sorry this isn't very long, I just don't know much about Yu Yu Hakusho. Anyway, please review and give me suggestions for the next chapter!


	12. Inuyasha Reports

INUYASHA REPORTS Report 1 

"I am Inuyasha, the biggest fucker shit on this planet! I got the sexy white hair, the cute doggy ears, and the…FUCKING SHIT! BRING ME ALL YOUR WOMEN AND YOUR BUTTER SO I CAN EAT THE PINEAPPLES!"

"You're a fucking potty mouth!"

Report 2

"This is Kagome, damn retarded sex object of Inuyasha! I like milk, beaches, milk, jelly, butter, and milk! I NEED SOME LOVIN' AND THAT FOOLL INUYASHA ISN'T GIVEN' IT TO ME!"

"You said milk three times…"

Report 3

"I am Miroku, the leech, wait! I mean… con artist of the show! I'm a pedophile who likes watching little girls in skimpy dresses dance! I also like melons!"

"YOU ARE EVIL!"

Report 4

"Um…my name is Kikyo and I….wait! Is this some sex search game or something because I feel very disturbed by having to answer all these questions, so…DIE, FUCKERS!"

"SHIT!"

Report 5

"This is Naraku-sensei speaking. I am evil and full of hate. I like porn and FLCL. Uh…I like puppies? Seriously, I don't even know why I'm here, so let me leave and I won't eat your heads!"

"You may leave…"

Report 6

"I am Inuyasha's half-brother, Sesshomaru. I have a nice ass and I can tell a lady all of her sizes in about three minutes! It's really cool!"

"…….That's all?"

Report 7

"I AM SANGO! I RULE ALL COOKIES AND MILK! GRRAAHH! MAKE ME FAT OR YOU ALL DIE!"

"WWWWAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

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PLEASE REVIEW AND GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!


	13. FullMetal Alchemist Reports

FULL METAL ALCHEMIST REPORTS 

Report 1

"I am Edward Elric. I am the main character of FMA. I like watching cowboys and sowing…….WHAT! DID YOU JUST SAY I'M SHORT? I'M NOT SHORT! SHORT! SHORT! SHORT! SHORT! SHORT! SHORT!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Report 2

"My name is Alphonse Elric. I know that most people feel bad for me that I'm some handicapped living piece of frickin' armor, but it was all Edward's fault! HE MUST PAY BY FEEDING ME HIS FLESH WITH HIS OWN HANDS!"

"You a sick man…do you need a psychologist?"

Report 3

"FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!"

"You're such a glutton!" (AN: I'm sure you can tell who this is…)

Report 4

"This is the very sexy Winry Rockbell speaking! …….I AM NOT FAT! IF YOU FEED ME SOME FOOD, I WILL GET FAT FOR YOU! …….Wait, what was I saying?"

"Split personality disorder, huh?"

Report 5

"…..Why am I here? Where's my vadka? Where's my moose? Where are Jimmy Dean and those little oompa-loompa dudes? WHERE'S MY MOMMY?"

"Calm down, Scar…"

Report 6

"This is Ling Yao and Hohenheim. Uh…we both talk for each other since we love playing Animal Crossing and also since we're both very drunk right now, so…PLEASE READ THE MANGA AND SEND ME YOUR PANTIES!"

"GGGGGGGRRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Report 7

"…………………………..I'm evil."

"THAT'S ALL FATHER HAS TO SAY?"

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I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT! PLEASE REVIEW AND GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!


	14. HunterXHunter Reports

HUNTERXHUNTER REPORTS

Report 1

"I am Gon, main character of this frickin' manga! I need more action scenes and lot of bloody gore like…THIS! AUUUUUUGHHHHHHH! I ATE MY OWN EYEBALLS! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! …….That is all."

"……."

Report 2

"I am Killua! I want more dumplings and I want to read more hentai manga! BLAARGGGGGGHHHHH! I LIKE TA MOVE IT, MOVE IT! YOU LIKE TA MOVE IT, MOVE IT!"

"Hmm…that makes no sense."

Report 3

"This is Leorio speakin'! I got an urge that I cannot hide! I NEED…FETICIDE! WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!"

"Feticide…what's that?"

Report 4

"Um…this is Kurapika. Uh…I would like it if the mangaka person would tell everyone that I'm a boy, because I hate getting this letters from desperate boys and girls who want to have sex with me! IT'S….MADDENING!"

"It gets letters from girls, too?"

Report 5

"This is Hisoka. I…we…..he….it…him…she…love…Frankie! REMEMBER, BUY ALL THE FISH STICKS BEFORE THE EVIL MAN FROM DONKEY LAND STEALS THEM!"

"What? I thought I finished off Jack-Ass Man for good!"

Report 6

"BAKA SURVIVOR, BABY! HAI! BAKA SURVIVOR, CACHI O KOI KOI, BABY! OY!"

"Another intelligent statement from Illumi!"

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PLEASE REVIEW! I NEED SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER BECAUSE I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING!


	15. ATTENTION!

I'M EITHER GOING TO END THE 'ANIME REPORTS' SERIES HERE OR I'M GOING TO CONTINUE! GIVE ME POSITIVE REVIEWS ABOUT WHETHER I SHOULD CONTINUE OR NOT! ALSO, REMEMBER TO GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS, TOO! PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!


	16. THE END

**THE "OTHER" REPORTS**

Report 1

"This is Shikamaru (from Naruto). Um…I always thought Ino was the most beautiful person I've ever met. She's funny, she's sexy, and she's very kind. What I'm trying to say is…I love Ino."

"Uh…this isn't 'Love Confessions'!"

"DAMN IT!"

Report 2

"My name is Shino. I may be dark and sinister, but I am actually very sexy! I have hot brown eyes and I can dance to 'Numa Numa' way better than any asshole I've ever met! Just remember…MILK IS GOOD FOR YOUR TEETH!"  
"What did that mean?"

Report 3

"I NEED TO SEE SOME MORE KIBAXSAKURA FAN FICTION, PEOPLE! COME ON! SHOW ME THE LOVE WE HAVE FOR EACH OTHER, DESPITE THE REASONINGS THE GOVERNMENT HAS ABOUT ME OWNING AN ALIEN DOG FROM BAKLUVA WHO LIKES CHEESE STICKS AND-"

"Stop talking right now, Kiba!"

Report 4

"Garlic and Apples make perfect sense! I have no butter! Bring on the dancing Tubas! I like muffins, and a lot of them! SHOW ME THE MONEY, DAMMIT!"

"Who was that?"

Report 5 (Final Report)

"PLAYING VIDEO GAMES IS SO MUCH FUN, I POKED MY FUCKIN' EYES OUT!"

"Can we go home now?"

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THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER OF ANIME REPORTS! SHOULD THE SEQUEL BE REPORTS ON CARTOON SERIES OR VIDEO GAMES? SEND ME REVIEWS ON WHETHER I SHOULD DO VIDEO GAME REPORTS OR CARTOON REPORTS NEXT!


	17. EXTRA: Elfen Lied Reports

AN: I DON'T EVEN LIKE ELFEN LIED, BUT I DECIDED TO DO AN ANIME REPORT ON IT ANYWAY! PLEASE ENJOY!

ELFEN LIED REPORTS

Report 1

"Hi, my name is Kouta. First of all, I am scarred for life because I've seen more people be ripped to pieces or savagely murdered than anyone should ever seen in their whole life. I cannot hold back the urge to kill myself because I can't live with the pain……DONUTS!"

"…….That's kinda…..quirky….."

Report 2

"I am Yuka, Kouta's cousin. I am a pedophile who is in love with my cousin! I think he is very sexy and I like to watch him bathe! Mellorine, all the good monkeys!"

"Something evil and horrifying is going to happen soon…I just know it…"

Report 3

"Nyu! Nyu! Nyu Nyu Nyu! Nyu! Nyu Nyu! Nyu Nyu Nyu Nyu Nyu Nyu Nyu Nyu!"

"………That means Milk."

Report 4

"I'm…….GOING…….TO KILL YOU! VECTORS, ATTACK!"

"DAMN, LUCY'S AT IT AGAIN! SSSSSSHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!"

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END OF CHAPTER! PLEASE R&R!


	18. EXTRA: Sailor Moon Reports

SAILOR MOON REPORTS

Report 1

"I am Usagi Tsukino. I'm a stupid bitch who eats three times her weight in food and I got a hankering for some Rei Hino! Of course, I got to be sexy, right? Right? ………..A LITTLE SUPPORT WOULD BE NICE, DAMMIT!"

"…..Huh?"

Report 2

"This is Ami Mizuno! I am just as gay as the rest of the Sailor people…wait, was I supposed to say that out loud? WA HA HA HA! PORCUPINES!"

"That was….informative…"

Report 3

"This is the ample-breasted Rei Hino talking! Listen up, I want to show my love to that sexy gay girl Usagi Tsukino, but I got nothing to do but shove my boobies in her face! SWEET!"

"I don't even know what we're doing here anymore…"

Report 4

"I'm the tall and very attractive Makoto Kino! I would like money, sexy girls, and a month's worth of peanut butter that can go into my panties to make my butt nice and squishy!"

"There's a interesting sight!" (perverts!)

Report 5

"I am the best-looking member of the Sailor People, Minako Aino! Wait….my name is almost exactly as Makoto Kino! Does that mean that we're meant for each other? I HOPE SO! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!"

"Damn girls…"


	19. EXTRA: Zatch Bell Reports

ZATCH BELL REPORTS

Report 1

"Yo, I'm Zatch Bell! I am one of the dumbest characters, but sexiest, characters in the entire media! I need to pay more attention to the hotties like Koko and Tia instead of becoming king for some dub crybaby girl!"

"Son of the devil, you are!"

Report 2

"This is Kiyo Takamine, number one hater towards all Mamodo! I like pie! I like pie! I like pie! I like pie! ………Heke? What da hell youse lookin' at?"

"It's the Ham-Hams!"

Report 3

"R-R-R-Right about now! The Funk so brother! Check it out now! The Funk so Brother!

Right about now! The Funk so brother!"

"Kanchome's been listening to 'Rockafeller Skank' again?"

Report 4

"I am Brago! I rule all things cool and refreshing! GIVE ME YOUR PEANUTS OR READ DUMB M-RATED FAN FICTION FULL OF SEX WRITTEN BY A FIVE-YEAR OLD!"

"Whoa…"

Report 5

"Meru-Meru-Me! Meru-Meru-Me! Meru-Meru-Me!"

"Huh?"

Report 6

"I have to say that some people hate Zatch Bell and some people think it's the best thing since sliced bread, but I don't care! You wanna know why? It's because I was forced into falling in love with a retarded little boy in a dress who likes a shi man in a praying mantis suit! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"You sure complain a lot, Tia…"

Report 7

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

"Faudo, please shut up…"

Report 8

"I am Zeno, twin brother of Zatch Bell and main antagonist of the series! I am evil and full of anger! I cry myself to sleep and I physically abuse Dufort by making him wear a coconut bra and a skirt made of leaves! THAT MAKES ME EVIL!"

"You are…evil…"


	20. EXTRA: Hamtaro Reports

HAMTARO REPORTS

Report 1

"I am Hamtaro! I'm cute and all, but I'm in fact a gangsta! Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta! ……..Got on vodka on you?"

"What did you do to the real Hamtaro we all love, damn you!"

Report 2

"This is Boss, owner of the Ham-Ham clubhouse. I like Bijou, but I'm just an old 40-year old pedophile with a peanut obsession! No big deal! Heh heh heh! ……oh, great…"

"…………….."

Report 3

"This is Bijou speaking! I LIKE CORNDOGS!"

My shortest chapter ever! Please don't flame! I just can't handle doing this for too long right now!


	21. EXTRA: DETECTIVE CONAN!

DETECTIVE CONAN/CASE CLOSED REPORTS

Report 1

"Howdy, y'all! I be Shinichi Kudou A.K.A. Conan Edogawa! I really am quite pleased that the series has been going for so long, but…I WANT TO BE A MAN AGAIN! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS WHEN YOU'RE A SUPER-GENIUS? IT'S SO ANNOYING! I NEED TO HURT SOMEONE…HOW ABOUT YOU?"

"AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!"

Report 2

"Uh, this is Ran Mouri. I think I'm really cute and that sexy little Conan isn't Shinichi! Wait…HOW CAN I BE SO DUMB AS NOT TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE? THEY WERE THE SAME FUCKIN' CLOTHES!"

"Calm down…"

Report 3

"WE ARE THE DETECTIVE BOYS! OOH YEAH! WHO YA GONNA CALL? THE DETECTIVE BOYS! UH-HUH! UH-HUH! LET'S BOOGEY!"

"YA-HAA!"

Report 4

"My name is Shiho Miyano…DAMN IT! I mean, my name is Ai Haibara! Okay? My name is NOT Shiho Miyano! …..I'm screwed, aren't I?"

"Yup."


	22. EXTRA: Avatar Reports

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER REPORTS

(A/N: ZOMFG! I made a new chapter!)

* * *

Report 1

"'Allo, my friends of discourse and happy days! It is I, Aang! I come here today to explain why I am here. First of all, I am sick and disgusted by the fact that no one draws me having sex with Katara! That is all!"

"……I can't believe we came back for this!"

Report 2

"My name's Katara, or, as my brother calls me, the sex object of the show! Anyway, I am really horny right now so you better watch out before-I MUST GET FUCKED!"

"NO! I'M STILL A VIRGIN!"

Report 3

"Yo, the name is Sokka and I'm a little Fokka with a big-"

"Get out and don't look back or I will kill you."

Report 4

"Uh…Hello? Is anyone out there? Hello! Hey, can anyone hear me! HELP!"

"Toph, shut up!"

Report 5

"The very talented (and sexy) Zuko is present! I (sexy) think I should (sexy) have a more (sexy) romantic plot line (sexy) with that damn water (sexy) bender Asian chick (sexy)! Also, my good old (sexy) uncle needs some (sexy) lovin', too! So (sexy), please help him (sexy)! Good (sexy) bye!"

"…….That was really sexy!"

Report 6

"Hey, I'm the Earth King! I have no frickin' idea what my future role in the show will be, but since I'm now stuck with the frickin' 'Gaang', I'm going to need some character development! I mean…come on! So far, I've come off as a stupid pedophile with bestiality issues!"

"Indeed! Indeed!"

Report 7

"Oh yeah…Mai, you taste so good…yeah…stick 'em right here! OOH! OOH! OH YEAH, TY-LEE! THAT'S THE SPOT! KEEP IT UP! OOOHHH!!! RIGHT THERE! RIGHT THERE! OH MY GOD, YES!!!"

"Azula…you have problems."

Report 8

"Hi…my name is Mai. I love you all. GOOD NIGHT!"

"Thank you very much!"

Report 9

"Cheerio, mates! I am Momo A.K.A. the guy who makes 'ATLA' go 'round! Today, I would like to pique your interests with successful dialogue and paraphrasing that will succumb into your spinal cords and cause you to eventually collapse and die like the monkeys you are!"

"……"

Report 10

"CLASS OF 3000, SING!"

"SUNNY BRIDGES IS IN 'DA HOUSE! AAAHHH!!!"


	23. FINALE: Akira Reports

A/N: It's been over two year since this was last updated, and now it is time to give it the final chapter. So we'll finish it off with one of the most influential and important anime/manga series ever...Akira!

Also, I am somewhat convinced that ColonelXDoctor is vaguely canon in the series! They've had a bumpy relationship.

* * *

**AKIRA REPORTS**

Report 1

"Uh...my name is Kaneda. And I have a sexual fetish for young men. I also enjoy carrying pistols around and jumping out of planes at high altitudes. If there was one thing I could say about my personality...it's that I'm too cunning for my own good. CALL ME THAT AGAIN...FUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKAAAAAAHHHHHHH(He says it like a chicken)!!"

"I HOPE YOU NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN!"

--

Report 2

"WA HA A HAHA...KANEDA...HA HA AH...KANEDA...HAH A HA HA HA HA...CARL...HA HA A AHA HA HA...KANEDA...I HOPE YOU ALL SUCK MY-"

"Tetsuo, leave. Just...leave."

--

Report 3

"Hi, I'm Kei and-"

"Wait, wait, wait! Are you...a guy?"

"No, of course not!"

"GET THE FUCK OUT."

"...What?"

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!"

--

Report 4

"Can you bring the Doctor back? I miss him..."

"Go home, Colonel."

--

Report 5

"My name is Kaori and I have sexual fantasies about being crushed to death!"

"...You'll get your wish soon enough..."

"?"

--

Report 6

"Can you bring the Colonel back? I miss him..."

"Go home, Doctor."

--

Report 7

"CHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG..."

"Uh...Akira, are you okay?"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU...WITH GEICO!!"

"OH, FUCK!"

--

Report 8

"Ryu Ryu Ryu Ryu Ryu Ryu...I love him!"

"NEZU, GO HOME AND MOLEST THE CHILDREN ELSEWHERE!"

--

Report 9

"Yo, the name's Ryu! SHOOP DA WHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPP!!"

"GO HOME NOW BEFORE I KILL YOU."

"...Really?"

"I lied."

--

Report 10

"I'M GOING TO MISS YOU GUYS! PLEASE...PLEASE...DON'T LLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

"Uh...who are you?"

"My name is Witherspoon!"

"PRINCE Witherspoon?"

"HELLZ YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"We'll miss you too."

"GOOD BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

"MMMM...BOOT TO THE HEAD!"

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!"

"And now...the cycle is complete."


End file.
